sexta-feira, 23 de outubro de 2009

Eu calei porque...

Não consegui ser sincero. Calei porque o contrário seria te ofender e isso eu não quero. Eu calei porque dentro eu ainda reverbero. E ficar quieto, engasgado, me faz estar vivo, ainda pulsando, ainda não todo desesperado. Eu calei porque não tinha nada a dizer. Calei porque não era a minha vez. Calei de novo porque tive dúvidas. Calei porque não sabia se podia ou não depois de tudo o que aconteceu. Calei por medo, calei pela camisinha rompida, pela morte abrupta, pelo medo - novamente - de se aproximar sozinho daquela esquina. Calei nos seus cabelos, calei nas suas rimas. Eu calei sempre e toda vez que alguém me chamou de menina. Calei nos degraus, calei nos calos. Calei hoje e sempre aos pedaços, com medo de ver que sim, podemos ser esmagados. Eu calei porque não falava aquela língua, eu calei porque as sobrancelhas se ergueram. Calei porque as testas enrrugaram. Porque as mãos se contorceram e mesmo sem ver, eu ouvi, todos os dedos juntos estalaram. Calei porque queria um silêncio. Calei inda mais porque o silêncio ficou pesado. E silêncio pesado não é silêncio, é culpa. Calei por culpado. Calei por te mandar calar a boca. Calei por falta de ar. Calei por superoxigenação. Calei por medo de altura. Calei por resignação. Por concordância. Por discriminação. Eu calei porque se falasse sairia de mim meu coração. Num pulo, eu calei, porque é o que fazem os seres quando inseguros. Não é? Calar para evitar um terremoto. Para evitar um acesso. Calar para evitar um colapso.

8 comentários:

Luanne Araujo disse...

Pra evitar um terremoto, um raio, um desmoronamento, eu também calei.
Mas engoli o colapso e ele fez um iglu no meu peito.
Quem cala, mente.

Caio Riscado disse...

mas engoli o colapso e ele fez um calo na minha garganta.
Quem cala, engasga pelo não dito.

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